Sunday, 13 October 2013

Wow, it has been so long since I have written a blog, and so much has happened! Here I sit, with a weird, healthy pie baking in the oven, and I'm reminded of last year, when I baked a lot of weird food and wrote a lot of weird blogs on a regular-ish basis. Only now I'm sitting in a dorm common kitchen, at bible college, in Saskatchewan. Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so much to be thankful for. Rewind to this summer. I had an amazing summer! I finally quit working at Sobeys and had a super sweet job as an intern at my church. It was tons of fun, lots of work, exhausting, stretching, and encouraging. Over the past year I have known that the Lord is directing me into some sort of full-time ministry, but I'm not exactly sure what. My experience working at the church over the summer helped clarify a few of my strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. I also had some wonderful opportunities to use and practice some of the gifts God has given me.

 At the beginning of August I had a conversation with my pastor about my future. I expressed my frustration and confusion about not knowing where to go or what to do. He encouraged me to return to school, to get a degree in something practical. When I told him all I wanted to do was be in ministry, he recommended two bible colleges, I picked one, went through the application process, was accepted, and here I am at Briercrest! The way the funds have come in has been absolutely miraculous. I am so thankful and so blessed.

I am absolutely loving it here. I still don't have a clear sense of call. I still don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate or even next year. I am learning how to trust in big and small ways. I'm in the Bachelor of Arts in Biblical Studies program right now, I may take on a Music or Worship Arts minor, we shall see. I'm on a worship team and am going to start doing some children's ministry stuff soon. I have my own room in an all girls dorm. They feed me gluten-free and dairy free in the caf which is wonderful, but I definitely miss doing my own cooking! I miss home sometimes, especially my nieces (so sad to think of them growing up without me!) but I know this is where God wants me.

Did I mention I got my braces off? YAY! Do I look 22 yet? Nope haha but that's ok.

it's flat here, and the sun.

My Greek textbook describes my Greek pursuits so accurately, as well as the rest of my life.

Just how the Greek letter "iota"looks in my mind.
 (pronounced "Yo-ta" or if you don't care about diction "Yo-da") 

 It was cold and rain one day and I couldn't handle it. So I ordered these boots. Now I'm set.

"Everything here is green or beige."
"Everything here is green or golden."
It's all about perspective.
But mostly it's beige.

Feel so sorry for those married students. You're gettin' flyers whether you want them or not!

Not quite the trails in my backyard at home, but this little walk brightened my day.

Saturday, 13 July 2013

This rant is rated PG-13

The beach should be rated PG 13, sometimes R.

Today I went to the beach. By myself cuz I'm cool like that. No seriously, I WANTED to go to the beach by myself. It was actually a really good day. I read, swam, ate, and got a sunburn from the fires of you-know-where itself.
Did I feel silly because I was wearing a modest one piece bathing suit? No. I did not. I felt decidedly comfortable. I'm not fat. I don't have stretch marks. I'm not really even overly self-conscious about my body. But do I feel the need to show it off to the whole world? Not particularly.

I am not a woman who wears a bikini, and I am most definitely not a man, but in my head, this is the way they think.

Woman: *puts on bikini* This looks cute. I like the pattern/colour/design. Tan lines will be minimal. I think I'll wear this today.

Man: *sees woman in bikini* I love when women wear their underwear in public.

Am I wrong?

As a girl seeking to honour God with my life, it follows that I want to honour the Christian guys around me by not dressing provocatively. Not only that, I want to respect the temple God has given me by not making it an object of lust to any man.

Plus SERIOUSLY girls, take it from a sister, unless you go to the gym every day and don't eat carbs, bikinis are not really all that attractive. Sorry, truth hurts.

I've been shopping for modest bathing suits since I was little. The things I've learned are...

1) Be willing to pay the price. It will last a long time if you don't wear it in chlorine.
2 )Always be on the lookout! I check out the bathing suit collection in almost every store I enter, because nice one-pieces are hard to find.
3) Don't buy it if it doesn't fit. I've bought a couple that weren't quite right thinking I could alter them but it really isn't the same. Wait to find a good one.
4) If you're in a pinch, just grab a sports one. They're not that attractive but they're functional. A pair of board short style shorts over top is sometimes necessary with these.

Here's some good websites. (this one you have to sift through a little more to find a modest one...)

Thursday, 6 June 2013

the movies, mcdonalds, and my love affair with salad

Yesterday, I went to McDonalds TWICE. Yes, I know. This crazy health nut gluten-free lactose-intolerant girl does occasionally go to McDonalds. I like their coffee a lot ( I think it's the cream... so unhealthy and delicious and lactosey) and in a pinch I will eat one of their salads. If I have a spare few hours to be sick I will get something ice cream related, but I don't think I need to explain why that doesn't happen very often...

 The first time I went to McDonald's yesterday was actually not for me at all, I was just grabbing a coffee for my mom. I was looking at an add for their Vanilla Bean Frappuccino.

"Mmmm that actually looks so good," I said to the girl at the register.
"Yeah, they really are."
"So what's in it, is it made with ice cream?" I asked.
"Uhhh... no..." she began looking nervous and uncertain  "Uhhh... I think it's made with like...uh..."
"Cream? Milk?" I tried to help her out, clearly I was distressing her.
"Yeah, I think it's like, milk and eXpresso."
I almost lost it. EXPRESSO? SERIOUSLY??? You work here!!! You see this word spelled in front of your nose EVERY DAY. You probably hit a button that says "ESpresso" every day of your life!!! Is there an "x"? No! Is there a"ks"? No! Is there even a slightly more confusing "cs"? NO! Sweetie, please! Has the educational system failed you this much?!
And then I realize that the answer is probably "yes", and I just want to hug her... then offer to tutor her...
But instead of all of this I just smile sweetly, say thank you, and leave.

My next McDonald's adventure involved my friend Hannah. We were going to the movies, and I realized that I hadn't eaten a proper lunch or dinner, so I really should eat something somewhat substantial before going to bulk barn and loading up on my favourite theatre-going snacks.

So I ordered a salad (the Teriyaki one), but when we got the window they didn't have that one, so I had to have the Tuscan one instead. Then I had to ask for it without cheese. So we paid at the first window and drove up to the second, where they informed us they had to make the salad fresh, so could we please drive into the waiting zone?

"They're probably going out to pick the lettuce," Hannah suggested as she ate her milkshake (with a spoon, she just had her wisdom teeth out, poor girl!)
"Mmm, that would be delicious!"
5 minutes later.
"I think they really are picking the lettuce."
10 minutes later.
"Ok, they're picking ALL the vegetables, and slaughtering the chicken."
Finally, they brought my food.
"Umm... is this for me?" I was confused at the food baggie and Happy Meal box the employee handed me.
"Oh, maybe not. Ugh, he told me it was your car!" The employee storms off. Look girl, I don't know who "he" is, but I want my salad!
15 minutes later it arrived and we finally were off to the movies.

Now, I'm super pro at sneaking food into movie theatres. It's called a purse (and/or large pockets). I'm cheap and my favourite snacks live in the Bulk Barn, not Cineplex. A salad was no challenge to me. However, when I got it in, I realized I needed to put the dressing on and shake it up.

This is me eating salad today. It was leftover in this big bowl in the fridge,  and I didn't want to dirty another one... 
I eat a lot of salads. Salads with meat on them. And goat cheese. Every day. Sometimes twice a day. I've become a shameless salad shaker. At first, I was a little reserved about the whole open the container, pour the dressing on, close the container again, and shake it up. It seems like a rather personal process, and I didn't really like feeling like people were watching me, judging my salad shaking. However, I have decided that it is the best way to evenly distribute all the dressing, and I refuse to give it up just because people look at me funny. So I shake my salad rapidly, with much vigor, and no shame. Then I eat it... and sometimes judgmentally reflect on how much healthier I am then the people eating their gluten-y sandwiches.

 I pulled the dressing out of the baggy.
"Yogurt." I read on the package.
"Yogurt?!" Hannah asked, sounding disgusted and appalled.
"People will do anything to be 'low fat'. Garlic yogurt dressing. What the heck?! I'm sorry for how atrocious my breath is going to be."

So I shook my salad. Then I ate my salad. AAAND it made me feel sick. You would think that a SALAD from McDonald's would at least not give you McStomach, but alas, McStomach I had and the only way of curing it was to eat up all my banana chips and chocolate covered ginger with a goodwill.

We watched "After Earth". Afterwards Hannah said...
"Wow, that was like The Hunger Games, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings all at once. If I ever feel a craving for all of the movies at once, I'll just watch that movie."
 "Except not... because it was terrible," I concluded, and we agreed.

The end.

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is your birthday. Cards are stupid. (and are like $6 a piece!) I made this instead. 

I am thankful for the little black book sitting on that park bench.
I am thankful that you read it.
I am thankful that it changed your life from the inside out.
I am thankful that you didn’t keep it to yourself, but shared it with your family.
I am thankful for growing up in a home with two parents seeking the Lord.
I am thankful that I was taught, encouraged, and disciplined in His way.
I am thankful for you telling me I’m beautiful.
I am thankful that I have never had to seek the attention of men to fill a void left by you.
I am thankful that you have supported me always.
I am thankful for every single time you have apologized.
I am thankful for your reproaches.
I am thankful that I haven’t had the battle of reconciling my view of God the Father with a twisted view of an early father.

You are not perfect. You have failed me. You will fail me. I am thankful that every good thing that is in you has come from the Father of Lights, who works in you to will and to do for His good pleasure.

I will not give you accolades or flatter you, but I must tell you that I am so very thankful that God chose you and entrusted you with my care here on this earth.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

my life in pictures

I have not blogged in a while. Blog is a funny word, especially when used as a verb. It's makes me think of vomiting out words. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean that, I just blogged!"

Anyways. You may be wondering what I have been up to lately. Chances are slim, as you are probably to busy thinking about your own life or lack there of to care about mine or my lack there of. Still, I'm going to write about my life now so if you're not interested, may I recommend or watching some good old Toboscus on youtube.

I have been the woman of many occupations lately. I have been la deli clerk extraordinaire. The other night I looked on as an obviously newly dating couple bonded over their favourite types of lunch meat.
"Excuse me while I go vomit."

I have also been the man of the house. I did some serious stacking of wood as well as some awesome painting. I wore this outfit.

I've also been Picasso and painted pretty paintings.

That's a squirrel.

I have also been Auntie. 

And a darn good one, giving miss Kaleigh a mani/pedi.

I have also made pretty. It does happen occasionally.

I've also taught lots of piano lessons and they've been really fun! Basically, most of my students didn't play the piano this week. We talked about different kinds of keyboards and watched videos of a celesta, a fortepiano, and a guy playing Mozart on water glasses. We also played with water glasses ourselves. I think I may lose some students, as playing water glasses is apparently way more fun than playing the piano.

I have been at church a lot, as usual. Playing the keys and talking to kids and such.
So basically, I've been little miss housewife, except not a wife, so I guess I'm a house-daughter... house child. Ok now I'm thinking about 

and it's weird, I don't even watch that show.

I just made pizza casserole. It smells awesome. There is a picture on my camera, but i'm lazy and honestly no one cares what pizza casserole looks like. The name kind of speaks for itself. It's awesome.
Tomorrow I'm going shopping.
Saturday I am going to make brownies and go to my dear dear dear friend's wedding shower.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

working at ebsoys

I'm not supposed to talk about my job on the internet. I could get fired.
This is me caring.

Things About My Work

The other day I saw a woman in an intense snowmobiling jacket and gloves striding through the store very purposefully with a cucumber in hand.

The other week I saw a very bald man accept for a long scraggly pony-tailish patch of black hair at the back of his head.

Adorable encounter with an old man (OLD MEN ARE MY FAVOURITE EVER). I was in the middle of cleaning something, and looked over and saw him looking at the hot food service counter thing.
"Can I help you?" I asked. He shook his head, pointed at his eyes, and pointed at the food, making it clear that he was still looking. I went on about my business for a few more seconds, and when I looked up he pointed at me then at the food. Normally, I would find this rude, but as aforementioned, old men are adorable, so I didn't mind. (I'm talking really old here, like....)
I was wondering to myself if he might be hard of hearing or have difficulty speaking, hence the gesturing, and was a little surprised when he spoke up loud and clear and asked for two pieces of chicken. 
"Oh, sure!" I'm extra sweet cuz he's adorable. I look in the case. "It looks like there's only the breasts left. Is that ok?"
"What's that?" he asks.
"There's only the breasts left, is that ok?" I repeat, mildly embarrassed.
"Oh yes, that's the part I like best." As I turn away to get a container I try to suppress the sudden urge to giggle. I just couldn't help but wonder if he was being smart...

Guy who comes to the deli right before we close.
I'm sorry for chatting with you that one night when I was excessively bored and then shutting you down the next time you came around and attempted to flirt with me. I never should've been so friendly in the first place. So many regrets... I hope your heart is not broken.

The stare of death
People come into the store and are chatting away on their phones and expect me to serve them! More than that, they stand at the counter, looking, and chatting, and expect me to go up to them and say "Can I help you?" I refuse. I will not. They usually get the idea and gesture to me and I finally relent and approach, still waiting for them to speak. My face looks like this.

It is very inviting. Sometimes they get the idea and hang up, other times not, and I'm afraid I have to be very short with them. 

Tonight, I was busy cleaning something, when I heard someone loudly whistle a tune. I saw a man standing at the salad counter. I felt rather annoyed. Though not a direct whistle for attention, that had clearly been the idea. I'm afraid I must have given him the above look, for he suddenly became very apologetic.

"Oh, I'm in no rush," he said quickly, "You just finish whatever it is that you're doing." What I was doing was about a half an hour's worth of dishes. I decided that this was a little too severe a punishment.
"Oh no, it's fine," I turned sweet since he was clearly apologetic. I served him, he was nice as could be, and after thanking me he apologized again for taking me away from my work. 
"Oh no, that's fine, this is my job too!" I assured him. I didn't realize I'd given him my stare of death, but I must have, I don't know what else could have upset him so. Now I feel guilty.
New goal: be a nice person.
Revised goal: be a nicer person.

At work I cook chickens. They go upright on a rack and I think they look like headless genies, floating in the air cross-legged. Covered in bbq salt. 

There's a really big sink for washing dishes. I am literally up to my shoulders in water when I try to reach the bottom. As I was doing this tonight, I contemplated weather or not it was possible for me to fall in. I believe that, if I was right on my tippy toes, trying to get something on the bottom that was very heavy, and there was an earthquake, there is a distinct possibly of me falling head first into the suds. That would be the worst ever.

People eat peaces of chopped ham in clear gelatin. It is called head cheese. One time I asked a customer (who had informed me that her husband used to be a butcher) what it was. 
"Oh it's the cheek of the cow," she replied, nonchalantly.
So it is as gross as I thought it was.
One time someone asked if we had it in buckets. Apparently it is best that way. 

Thursday, 31 January 2013

my future career options

Lately I have been feeling frustrated and overwhelmed as I try to make decisions about the future. I have been researching many schools, programs, and opportunities and am still completely unsure. All I'm sure of is, I'm COMPLETELY unsure. Not even mildly slanting in one direction or the other.

I have, for the sake of my sanity, compiled a list of potential future careers/life paths.

1. A sailor.
I would prefer this option if I had been born a boy and a couple of centuries ago. I'm not being sexist, I'm being practical. Think for a minute, being the only woman on a ship full of men at sea for months at a time... no. Just, no. But how awesome would it be to leave everything behind you and just live on the sea? Adventures, treasure, sword fighting, exotic places... hmmm I can't decide whether or not I'd rather be in the British navy, or be a pirate. I think the navy. I might want the structure, and civility...

2. Batwoman.
Not Catwoman, Batwoman. Cats cannot fly and are heathens. Plus, I don't do spandex. Plus, Batman doesn't have to use his womanly whiles to seduce or deceive anyone. He just beats them up. I want to be Batwoman, and beat up bad guys. Also drive a tank.

3. A Jedi Knight. Knightess?
The reasons are obvious. Cool powers. Drive space ships. Save the world. Light sabers. Done.

4. A Travelling Trobairitz ( Wikipedia says that's a female troubadour)
Ok, so this one seems the most doable and therefore I find it very exciting. Here's the plan. Learn to play some sort of portable instrument/find a way to strap my 88 key Yamaha to my body, buy a motor home of some sort (don't care as long as it has water hook up), travel across North America singing songs and camping. Who wants to do this with me? Any takers? If you're a man you have to marry me first, just so you know...

5. Marry someone rich.
If I marry someone super rich I could pretty much do any of these other things just for fun. He could buy me a yacht for sailing, I'm sure he could find me a batmobile or have one made, the Jedi thing might be a little hard but I could be content with a hovercraft, and we could have a fancy RV and he could indulge me by occasionally letting me stand on the street corner and singing. If I married a rich man we would have 8 children and send them all to Oxford. It would be wonderful.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

a picnic in the theater

Taking a 5 year old to the movies is not as simple as going with one of your friends. It takes time, energy, skill, a good sense of humour, and time. Did I mention time?

Step 1: Pack snacks. You have decided to see the 5:40pm show, which means you will be watching the movie during dinner time.

I didn't want to fill up on junk food, so I packed us sandwiches and fruit, and tell Kaleigh it's a "picnic". Yes, I am that aunt. I realized once we got to the theatre and smelled the popcorn how cruel I was being. But hey, I packed us lifesavers and candy canes...
I am laughing so hard at myself now.

Step 2: Become a clock. On the drive there you will be asked "how much longer?" about every 3-5 minutes, and she will keep track, so don't even try to tell her the same amount of time twice.

It's amazing the random topics she will find to talk about. She started telling me a story about someone in a barrel in a river by the "Nyoo-Ited States" who they were poking with sticks and things? Apparently she saw it at Ripley's Believe It or Not. Also their hotel had two pools. Indoor and outdoor. Daddy liked the outdoor one better.

She was extremely excited because I told her there would be 3D glasses.
"Do we get to keep them after? Do they pass them around when we get there? Do we have to keep them on? Will we get in trouble if we take them off?" I have a vision of theater employees standings like soldiers, one on each step, carefully watching that everyone puts on and takes off their glasses at the appropriate time. I wonder if that's what Kaleigh is imagining.

Step 3: Don't stop at Timmies. She will worry about the time.
"Oh no, there's a big line-up."
"It's fine, Kaleigh, we have 42 minutes before the movie starts."
"Oh. That's a loong time."
"Yeah we've got lots of time."
We then waited about 5 minutes in the drive thru line just to place our order, and another minute or so at the speaker thing. Finally I said "Helloooo" and the employee replied "I'll be with you in a sec."
From the backseat Kaleigh said "One. That was a second, right Auntie?" She looked at me with those big blue eyes, so innocent. She really and truly wasn't being a smarty pants.
"Right, Kaleigh, but usually when grown-ups say they'll be a second, they mean longer, like a couple of minutes."

Step 4: Don't attempt to teach dishonesty.
When we pulled into the theater and parked, I turned to her.
"Now, Kaleigh, don't say anything to the people in the theater about the snacks in my purse, ok?"
"Ok. Why?"
"Because we're not really supposed to have them."
"Oh," she looks and sounds very concerned. "What will they do if they see us with them?"
"Probably nothing, but we just won't let them see us." (oh my gosh I'm terrible I don't think I should be telling people this!)
"But what will they do if they do see us?"
"I don't know, maybe ask us to throw them out, but it's ok, they won't. It will be fine."

Later, in the theater, I asked Kaleigh if she wanted her sandwich.
"No," she said quickly.
"Kaleigh, they're not going to get you in trouble."
"They're not?"
"No," I laugh "Kaleigh it's fine."
"You were just joking?" She asks me, so sweetly, so innocently.
"Yes," I lie. I outright lie to my sweet, beautiful niece. "I was only joking. Now please eat your sandwich."

Step 5: Be prepared for bathroom breaks.

Step 6: Regret packing your "picnic".
"Last time I went to theater with my Mommy and Daddy, and we just bought the food there. Like popcorn."

Yes. I'm sure that was much, much easier.

Step 7: Work out/have a wheelbarrow handy.

A limp, sleeping child is incredibly heavy, especially when they weigh almost half of what you do. I think she fell asleep mid-sentence on the way home, and didn't even wake up when I awkwardly pulled her from the car and carried her inside.